Week 94: Resting is hard

Tough week, this will be very short.

This week I kept on working on the dungeon carving game, or tried to. Here’s an exclusive gif that I didn’t post on Twitter because I wanted to have more interesting things on screen.

poker_3

This game still doesn’t have a name.

Because I didn’t really want to work on the meat of the gameplay, I made a super-polished log instead. It looks pretty good, doesn’t it?

I’m not sure why I’m so reticent to working on the meat of the game, or even, I noticed, the meat of any other project I have currently. Almost as if I did not want to finish things anymore, hmmm…

Ok so, it’s been a few weeks where I’ve been saying I’m feeling tired and I’m trying to rest and frankly I still am and I’m still trying to find out how to get better. But now I’m starting to suspect that a subconscious part of me is very deep into an impostor syndrome episode. It feels strange because usually, I’m aware of it, and I genuinely thought I managed to build an auto-defense mechanism against the very feeling of the impostor syndrome. But now I realize I might have just been ignoring it all this while.

Now, it sucks to be facing the impostor syndrome again, but if I’m right and this is my problem, this is actually pretty good news. It’s a lot easier to deal with a problem when you know what the problem is. I’ve gotten over this in the past and I’m confident I can do it again. All I need is to have a talk with myself, and force myself finish something and then be happy with the result.

We’ll see how it goes but this game is probably gonna be the thing that I force myself to finish.

venus_5

What better way to focus on a small project than to think up an entirely different small project!

Yes, I actually almost started making this game but instead settled on just prototyping this little effect on the Pico-8 and keeping the game for SUGAR, when it’ll be a little more advanced.

It should be a very fun game if I ever get to it though!

And that’s it for this week! It was not a good week.

This next week I’ll try to listen to myself better, and I’ll try to make the dungeon-carving game happen!

Have a good week!

Take care!

TRASEVOL_DOG

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